Looking for what I like

Several weeks ago, we had studio class, and I honestly cannot stop thinking about that night. One student was frustrated wondering how one can get to a point where they feel more comfortable with their pieces, what to do when things aren't going the way they want them to. This student had practically given up on the piece and had often felt like this at home and was definitely frustrated at the performance. My ten year old student raised his hand, waiting for permission to speak. I was eager to hear what he was going to say. He started, " Sometimes I get frustrated when things aren't as good as I want them to be, and sometimes I try again and it's not any better, but then after a while I go back, and rather than looking for what I don't like about it, I look for what I DO like about it, and it gets better after that."

My mouth wanted to drop on the ground. My 14 year old had just walked in the door and over heard this statement. He was even astounded enough to bring it up later.

But it is often the youngest hearts that are the most wise. So simple, yet so profound.

What I am looking for is usually what I will find. If I'm looking for a scratchy sound, a note out of tune, a shift that might not make it, I will likely find it.

There is a quote by Henry Ford..."If you believe you can, you are probably right. If you believe you can't, you are probably right." Again, so simple, but so often very true. Once, I was entering a competition. I was 16 at Conservatory, up against all levels college students and even members of the New World Symphony, a post graduate preparatory orchestra in Fort Lauderdale, FL. Every time I practiced, I heard everything I couldn't stand and exactly what would prove me less capable than these other contestants. Someone was wondering what I was practicing so much for from my church where I would go sometimes to practice, and I told them about it admitting that I would be grateful to even place at all in the competition that I didn't expect to win or anything, everyone else was too good. The day of the competition came. I played. It felt similar to my practice sessions. Seeing all the things I regretted. The results came in. I won third place. I couldn't believe it! I was so surprised. A few days later, someone who had been in the audience for all of the competition greeted me as I was exiting the conservatory and asked how I felt about the results of the competition. I told him I was surprised and grateful, that I never expected to do that well. He replied, "I thought you should have won." My mouth dropped open. He figured I was disappointed that I hadn't. I never thought there could be a chance of actually winning. But maybe that was exactly why I didn't. I didn't believe I could. Each time I practiced I never enjoyed it once. I was always looking for what would confirm what I predetermined about my playing. What if I had looked for the things I DID like? What if I had made room for myself to enjoy some things? My guess would be (based on what I have experienced since then) that I would have strengthened what was good, amplified it, magnified it and even made it better because of the freedom that comes from joy and gratitude. When I wasn't liking it, I was clamping up physically, mentally and emotionally. I became blocked from receiving and giving. I was stiff and scared and uninspired. Just trying to get through it. Guess what? When I notice that I like my intonation, it means that it's not out of tune!! Yea! And, if I recognize my sound being beautiful, it means it isn't scratchy! Yippee! And, if I'm enjoying my shift all the way up to the top? Well, that means all my senses are present allowing me to respond wisely and appropriately to end my shift precisely where it needs to, free to feel the emotions the music is calling for in that arrival. Fearing the shift steals all that away.

A few days after this studio class, I had the privilege of participating in a round table discussion about how to move past obstacles for those in businesses. I relayed our difficult time when the DSO went through our strike and came out the other side, and shared how we got to where we are now to another company (from Paris France) finding themselves struggling and wishing to come out positively on the other side. A company called "Leader's Quest" is who facilitated bringing the two companies together, and I was asked to be part of it. Ironically, it was November 8, 2016, election day and one of the most polarized and inflamed moments in my lifetime. We talked, I shared, I played. Just before playing, I felt inspired to share the wisdom of my young student. I believed that all of us can look for what we like in our situation, whatever that is, no matter how big or small, and what extends from that will be more of what we like! Since that day, and since the election there are so many opposites. So many against another. During this season, I pray we will all find what we like, what we really, really like, and what we really need - PEACE, JOY and LOVE. When we look for it, we will find it. Others that seem so different than I do are often not that different. We all share something in common. We are more alike than different much of the time. We all want the same things in life. Protection and safety and a bright future for our children, a safe world to live in, love and companionship. Freedom from oppression and good health. If I begin to see what is great about you, that may allow you to also see what is great about me. More peace in ourselves and therefore our world will ensue.

Here's a secret, we must first do this about ourselves before we can extend it toward others. Like yourself. In fact, love yourself. Notice what you really like about yourself. Notice how thoughtful and loyal you are. Notice how discreet and sensitive you are. Notice how genuine and honest you are. Notice how forgiving you are. Notice how high your standards are. Notice how perseverant you are. Notice how humble you are. Notice how much you like to laugh. Notice how encouraging to others you are. Notice how easy it is for you to focus and reach your goals. Keep adding more to the list. Celebrate these things. Don't look for exceptions, just allow yourself to appreciate the qualities in your life that you like. Sit with it for a minute. Thank God for His touch on your life that allows these beautiful qualities. Keep focusing on what you like and look for ways to make those qualities even brighter.

Doing this takes practice, but it is a way of life to incorporate into everything. Then, once it's natural, it will show up in your violin practice. Train your brain to focus on what you like. Stop looking for the exceptions. Keep repeating a passage over and over until you just love it. Stay open and expecting. Expect great things. Dream big. If you begin to get discouraged for any reason, put the violin down and walk away. Take time to reset your mind and heart. Clear the air by going for a walk, stretching, breathing, praying, reading. Get your mind ready again to be in a state of gratitude and openness. Don't pick up the violin again unless this is true. How you hold your instrument inside and outside matters. Reap what you sow. Remember to sow love and gratitude. You won't regret it.